my blood is glowstick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.
Explains how you bring light to everything around you too.
Иглушный кот
bus drivers who re-open their doors when they see someone running towards the stop are neutral good. any other kind of bus driver is automatically lawful evil
chaotic evil: the bus driver who saw me running to the stop and waited until i was at the door to close it and drive away
Time to bring back my husband’s fucking legendary bus story:
whenever i eat mushrooms i think about how one day mushrooms are gonna eat me… i make sure to chew really gently so they’ll return the favor 2 my corpse
Hey op
me, through a mouthful of gently-chewed mushrooms: yeah?
Why
When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became Yzma
When you’re in the 1400’s Florence and your buddy starts coughing
I will never not find this funny
Brilliant.
tankaramo